a sad day...

well, the time came. my gramma died this morning. So many mixed emotions that run through your head right now. I'm sad, torn, but at the same time, there is no way I wanted her to continue suffering. It's hard to see a strong woman deteriorate before your eyes.

My gramma played such a huge role in my life. I grew up only a mile and a half from their farm so we saw them daily, then they moved to the city and we still saw them lot's and all of us grandkids had the priviledge of living with them for our University years. For me gramma was the artistic lady, who taught me to oil & water colour paint and sew. Skills that have directed me throughout my life and are now playing a larger role in this adventure I'm on. She  was such an elegant lady that carried herself well, loved others, but yet at the same time very stubborn and hard working. There was nothing on the farm that she didn't get her hands dirty with. I was so lucky to have spent most days every week for the last couple months with her, as her body failed her, her mind was still there, so it was nice to talk with her, share stories, reminisce and let her know how she shaped my life, how much I loved her. She had such a big spot in her heart for my kids too. They love her dearly. I'm comforted in knowing that she is now in Heaven, living her new life reunited with Grampa, and so many other loved ones we have lost. Their eldest son was killed in his University years, so I look at it as his time to spend with his mom now, and one day we will see each other again.

I know I showed this not long ago, but I just want to remember her again, and this is one of the last pictures taken before the cancer really spread and changed her. This is how I want to remember my gramma.

I'm looking forward to the future and maybe stronger days are ahead of us. The looming of so many deaths in our family the last 3 months has been overwhelming, stressful and tiresome. It's hard watching my parents run on no sleep, having so many additional details having to be taken care of daily. My dad losing both his parents in 6 weeks. Heart strings just are pulling. But gramma told me that our little baby will soon come and help bring joy to everyone and they will soon start to heal. I look forward to that day.

I have so much stuff to show you, but I think that I'd like to leave today as a tribute to my amazing gramma.

Thanks for everyone's support. I have been blessed to have made such amazing friends in this industry that truly are real, understanding and have been there for me to cry on lately. Your guys comments, phone calls, visits & emails have been welcoming always, and I wanted to make sure that each and everyone of you know, that even if I haven't personally been able to let you know how much I have appreciated it, I won't ever forget it.

Thank you.

Comments

[Kisa Peters]

I am so sorry for your loss. Your words of her are beautiful. Thank you for sharing.

[Tracey B]

So sorry for your loss. Our thoughts and prayers will be with you during this difficult time.

[Lisa Hamm]

So sorry for your loss. It is so hard to lose someone that is so special. You are really lucky to have so many wonderful memories. Take care.

[Kelly Malacko]

So sorry to hear of your loss. I'm sending hugs your way.

[Carole]

Leica - my thoughts and prayers are with you at this difficult time. Take care of yourself and know that you have friends - online and in person - that are thinking of you.

[anam]

**huge huge hugs** so much sadness but so many happy memories.

[Allison Orthner]

Leica... I'm so sorry... sorry I didn't think to ask the past couple of days about your grandma... I know how important family is to you and can't imagine the loss of so many in such short time... just puts the rest of life back into perspective again which I needed today... know that my prayers and tears are with you as I end my day...

[Angie]

So sorry to hear about your loss. I can imagine the past few months has been a trying time for your family. I will keep your family in my prayers. Your baby will definitely help heal, and bring lots of joy to your family. Lots of **hugs** for you and your family....Take care!!

[Janine]

Hugs, love. You know I am thinking about you. Sorry to hear. Passing on some prayers.

[Sasha]

Condolence on the loss of your dear Gramma, you've spoken of her so often over the years - even in university and I know you were close. She was lucky to have you, too.

xoxoxox

[JenMarie]

So so sorry. You're in my prayers.

[Trisha]

Oh Leica... I am so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how difficult of a time this must be for you and your family right now. I hope your Gramma is finally at peace and that you too will find comfort in knowing that she is no longer suffering.

(((HUGS)))
Trisha

[Jules]

Oh Lecia I am so sorry to hear of this. Much Love, stay strong!

[Theresa]

Leica,
I am sorry to hear of your Grandmother's passing. It is obvious she is a wise woman who is strong & loving, by the words you have written about her. I love how she told you that your baby would soon be coming to heal and bring joy. I will be praying for your family that solace may come to you all as you deal with this difficult time & celebrate your Grandma's life. Take care :)

[Jill]

I am so sorry to hear of your gramma's passing. Many thoughts & prayers are with you & your family today, Leica. It's so hard to watch the suffering that happens to our loved ones. Such a beautiful tribute to her that you wrote this morning. You are truly an amazing person who, I know now, has been raised & shaped by some amazing & strong people. Remember to get up in the morning, breathe & thank God for the many blessings you have had & will continue to have in your life!!
blessings to you,
Jill